Friday, January 29, 2010
Tiring day
♥ 2:07 AM
Spent my day enjoying myself at Body Worlds exhibition, followed by a movie and a long chill out session with my cousin.
Really fun, but really tiring as well.
I need to step forward and do something. This distance... it's unbearable... I have to do something to make things better. I read the facebook posts on live feed, and I can totally relate with one of them. I am currently facing great difficulty to accomplish my task, not because of the nature of the task, but because of the subject of the task. I cannot drag on no more, because for some, the absence of evidence of interest equates to absence of concern.
I have to try to be more natural, or at least seem natural.
Akatsuki!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Life's uneventful
♥ 2:09 AM
Life is so uneventful, I find it hard to even blog at all.
Tuesday is one of the rare days of the week whereby I can be at home real early and participate in the clan games. HOWEVER, clan activity was cancelled. MAN!
Okay so it shall be my final day of lessons after 4 consecutive days of subject day. Signed up for cool programs like visiting the Body World Exhibition and watching Invictus. 4 days of timeout for me, so I shall go catch up with my cousin and go for a little swim.
I can't help it but to keep thinking about some stuff. No good no good, I need a doze of reality. The reality is, I shall strive for academic excellence, not just because I wish that my grades look good or paper or to even get myself a good scholarship, but to also realise my dream. I really dream of becoming a theoratical and particle physicist and also a mathematician.
Guess I am not the kind who can take up the conventional kind of job. I really like to think and stuff, not that I am very intelligent though. So perhaps I can achieve THAT through realising this dream. Rather than to keep thinking about it, I shall do stuff that can help me get there instead. Even if I don't get there, at least I get my degree.
Life's uneventful, but it should not be.
Akatsuki!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Late
♥ 11:21 AM
It may be a little too late to try and undo any of the damage done. Impression does count. Maybe the receiving end has already misinterpreted my intentions for way too long. I think there is almost no hope of changing the current situation.
I have been really terrible for the whole of last year. My fear, my tactical error and my inferiority complex has already destroyed my chance. Shall I hope for things to change for the better? I wonder.
School is so boring and tiring. My lecturer keeps rambling on and on, without making clear distinction which parts are in our notes. She would miss out parts and get me all confused. That's probably because I was doodling again, but she totally did not control the lecture group.
We all want lenient teachers, but teachers who are not firm in discipline is actually punishing those who actually wish to learn.
Akatsuki!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Am I wasting my time?
♥ 3:39 AM
Okay everyone talks about why we shouldn't be wasting time and all that nonsence. Some dude can come up to you and tell you that DotA is a waste of time, when he goes on wasting his own time in different form of activity. Come on everyone wastes time. Some enjoy doing time wasting stuff, other actually enjoy cutting time off their own clock.
Maybe for my issue, it is a little more than wasting time. I just wonder if it is bad for me. I wouldn't even ask if it is benefitial, because I know there isn't much value to it. Still, I really enjoy doing it and it is quite natural for one to do it. I just wonder if I am overdoing it.
I shall find out if it is even healthy to go on like this. Wouldn't be very easy to kick the habit, but if it really isn't healthy, then I just have to cut down on it, not gradually, but immediately to a healthy level.
...and no, I was NOT talking about DotA...
Akatsuki!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
I have a dream (II)
♥ 10:40 PM
Yes I dreamt of something again. So I was just having some class in some place and there was this dude who went out. I went out too to chill and began to chat with him as we were walking. Suddenly I saw this old friend of mine whom I rarely speak to. Got to have a very nice long chat with this old friend. Really enjoyed the time catching up and just talking about random stuff with an old friend. A nice long chat with an old friend can make my day anytime. I realise I am ageing really fast, and I am enjoying some old man's pastime.
Actually the dream was a little more than that, although that is about all that happened. Can't say too much here ya?
Sometimes it is really hard to ask for forgiveness from people. All it takes is this 1 small mistake and they can hate you for the rest of their lives just because of that. Maybe people will never ever forgive me, but I know who would.
Oh and recently I changed my handphone wallpaper. The words on my wallpaper now say " 小时了了，大未必佳". When Yu Lin first told me that, I did not really take it to heart. However, these words seem to be really true to me now. It's time I do something about it.
Akatsuki!!
School's quite boring
♥ 9:29 AM
Yes it is so boring, I'm blogging in the com lab right now. So few lessons, with so many breaks in between, plus so much time wasted each period, school is plain inefficient.
Taking it slow? I'd rather be released earlier to go chill at home or elsewhere. Why make us stay in school for so long? I admit that sufficient break time is essential, and that our teachers are shared by many so we can't have lessons every period. However, about half my periods today are breaks. This is a little overboard.
That aside, I am quite distracted by certain things that are going on right now. Sometimes people just don't care. It is just not so cool to be the only one who is concerned.
Still, it is my job to get this going, since I am the one who wants to get it done. It's a little hard for me to undo all that I have done to myself in the past 9years. I was not like this 9 years ago, but situations made me believe that I should behave the way I do right now.
I just got to break down some walls, and do the thing.
Akatsuki!!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
It's apparent
♥ 11:16 PM
It is apparent by now that I have lots to do. From the responses I get, it is very clear that I am nowhere near my goal. It is not even a huge goal to begin with. My wish is really simple, and I don't think it is too much to ask. Too bad I messed it up for myself, I have no one but myself to blame.
It's only been 1 year and things are totally different already. I made a critical error in my judgement, and now, I'm in deep trouble. Oh well, it isn't over yet for me though. I just got to play it well and there is still some hope.
There are more opportunities for me now, so I had better make good use of them.
Akatsuki!!
